


Winging It

by Stelia22



Category: Smosh
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 05:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10713402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stelia22/pseuds/Stelia22
Summary: What is there to lose from winging it?





	Winging It

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as a birthday one-shot for Anna on the 22nd February 2016 and posted to Wattpad.

**_Winging It_** Cover created by Stelia22

 

“Everybody get down!”

Joven drops, as does everyone around him. His right hand immediately goes to his hip, clutching the knife tucked into his belt. He can hear the whimpers of the various office workers around him. Several armed robots have appeared out of nowhere.

They spread out and march uniformly down various aisles. Their footsteps form a monotonous rhythm of clunk, clunk, clunk.

One ends up marching down the aisle of the desk Joven is hiding behind. Joven leaps on the opportunity, stabbing the robot right in the chest. As the robot falls down, shots ring out from the distance. He quickly ducks behind a different desk, crouching as the bullets rain down. The office workers scream as they cower under other desks.

Soon enough, robots are running towards Joven. That’s when Joven leaps up and whacks them with various knives and swords he has stashed in his belt, dodging various bullets as he does so. As he slices one robot across the stomach he sees Wes sniping robots from a balcony. As Joven slices another in the throat he sees Lasercorn using his sweet raptor-like metal claws to slice some bitches. As Joven decapitates another, he sees Mari and Flitz whacking them with their sweet ninja moves.

Seeing no robots immediately near him, he runs out from his hiding spot towards the back. He makes sure that the robots are sufficiently distracted by his team before ushering various civilians out the back door. After the last civilian is out, Joven ducks into a hidden room. The technician’s room, it looks like. There’s only one guy there. He’s shorter than him (yes!) and he’s on a computer trying to do something – who knows what.

“Get out of here,” Joven says to him.

“No,” the guy replies stubbornly. His eyes are determined as he types at rapid speed into a computer.

“You shouldn’t be here. Robots are raiding this place right now.”

“I know,” he says calmly as though he doesn’t realise how significant it is.

Joven looks him up and down. He looks like the dinkiest dude ever. He’s literally wearing nerdy t-shirt with jeans, sandshoes and a nerdy jacket. Oh, and he has a beard. A really hot beard.

_Joven, stop thinking about how hot this dude is and get him the fuck out of here!_

“Well get away from the fucking computer and get out of here!” Joven grabbed the dude’s arm and tried to drag him.

The guy shook him off easily, whining like a horse. “I need to do something!”

“What do you mean you need to do something?” Joven exclaimed.

“Just something, OK? I need to break down these guys’ systems.”

“Who’s systems?”

“These robots’, you dumbass!”

Another shot rang out. There was dent in the door now.

“Well hurry the fuck up so we can get out of here!” Joven yelled. “Wait,” he said, “How are you getting into these guys’ systems? They don’t even have systems that can be accessed from an outer source. They’re all programmed individually.”

“What makes you think that?”

“We’ve dissected a few of them!”

Well, more like sliced them up with a sword and gone off whatever fractions of circuits weren’t damaged by the sword. They hadn’t figured out another way to get them open. They weren’t doctors or technicians or anything.

“You’ve clearly dissected them wrong,” the other guy said confidently. “I’ve never seen them before but you can tell immediately that they’re all programmed from some power source. Sure, they might have stuff going on individually but at the end of day they all have some master.”

“Oh, like how Darth Vader is the master of the Stormtroopers.”

“Sure, whatever,” the guy said dismissively as though Joven’s reference was complete shit.

“Hey, Star Wars is awesome!”

“Done!” he shouts. “Well, the robots were already dead -”

_Thank you team_ , Joven proudly thought to himself.

“- but any tracking devices they have in them are deactivated. For now.”

“For _now_?”

“If I hadn’t done that, back-up would have been here already and your so-called ‘team’ would have been fucked!”

Joven scoffed. “Oh please, we’ve dealt with way worse before. This was a walk in the fucking park.” He pushed the now bullet-dented door and walked out.

The guy fell into step with him.

When Joven stepped out, it was to see stacks of robots just dead on the floor. Joven couldn’t help but think that they reminded him of the Stormtroopers. God, he was smiling at even just the _thought_ of Star Wars. God he missed Star Wars so bad. He hadn’t been able to watch it in a long time.

There just hadn’t been enough time. Not with secretly fighting these robots and shit.

“Clear?” Joven called out to Wes, who was still on the balcony.

Wes nodded. “Clear. Who’s that guy next to you?”

“Did you just go into a random room that had a civilian?” Lasercorn exclaimed. He laughed. “This is GTA all over again!”

“Yeah, when he would just get into random people’s cars!” Flitz called out from the other side of the room. He and Mari were checking for viable robots that they could take back for analysis.

“I didn’t realise that at the time!” Joven exclaimed, recalling the memories from – wow, had it only been a year and a half? It felt like so much longer. He turned to the new guy. “This is – wait, what’s your name?”

The guy next to Joven just looked confused, then appalled. “Who the hell are these people?” he hissed suspiciously.

“Oh, this is my team!” Joven said. “That’s Wes, that’s Lasercorn and that’s Flitz and Mari,” he continued, pointing out each member of the team, including Flitz and Mari, who had just joined Lasercorn. Each of them waved back. Joven pointed to the new guy. “This is the guy who deactivated the – what is it, tracking systems? – of these robots. According to him they’re being run by some external power source. Apparently the tracking systems are not internal like we all thought they were,” Joven continued as he desperately tried to recall what the new guy had said. “Wait,” he turned to him. “The tracking devices were still activated even though they were dead?”

“Yes!”

“That’s probably why every time a whole bunch of them showed up reinforcements always popped in!” Wes whined.

Joven waved a hand dismissively at him, even though _holy shit they have immortal tracking devices_ , and turned to the new guy.

“Always about the arm candy,” Flitz whispered so that only Mari could hear him.

“Always,” Mari replied just as quietly. “Or in this case, always about the guy who looks like Steve Buscemi on a stick.”

Flitz snickered to himself, covering his hand so that Joven wouldn’t hear them.

Completely oblivious to this, Joven asked the new guy, “And what’s your name?”

The new guy frowned. “Why’s that important?”

“Because you know all of our names!”

“I don’t know yours.”

Oh, right.

“I’m Joshua,” Joven said after a bit of hesitation.

Wes raised his eyebrows. “Joshua? You never introduce yourself to anyone as _Joshua_ ,” he said knowingly. He smirked. “Sounds like he has a bit of crush,” he said to everyone else.

“ _He_ is right here and _he_ doesn’t appreciate it,” Joven grumbled.

Flitz and Mari cooed and giggled to themselves. “Are they gonna bang? Because if they are, they’d better invite me too,” Mari added seductively.

“Yeah, we’re _totally_ gonna have a threesome Mari,” Joven retorted back sarcastically. Then he whispered to the new guy. “People usually call me Jovenshire, or Joven for short, but you can call me Joshua.”

The new guy smiled slightly. It felt like victory to Joven. “OK Joshua,” he replied affectionately. Then he seemed to realise how happy he was being because he immediately glared at Joven. “OK Mr I’m-gonna-lie-about-my-actual-name Shire.”

Joven gaped at him. “Seriously? My real name is Joshua. Jovenshire’s a nickname.”

“The lamest nickname.”

Joven rolled his eyes. This dude was just arguing for the sake of arguing now. What the actual fuck. “And what’s your name?”

“Sohinki,” he answered.

Joven waited. When he said nothing more, Joven asked, “First name? Last name? Any other name? Is it really just Sohinki? Did you come up with it on a Saturday night and just be like yep, I’ll go with Sohinki -”

“It’s my last name,” he growled. He turned away. “Fuck you’re annoying.”

“Says the guy who just argues for the sake it,” Joven said, ushering his team out and gesturing for Sohinki to follow.

“Says the guy with the lamest nickname ever!” Sohinki shook his head, walking out with him. Then he murmured to himself, “For fuck’s sake.”

____________________________________________________________

Sohinki ends up picking the robots they’ll take back to base. Joven makes sure that Sohinki takes the laptop he used to disable the trackers with him. Even though Sohinki insisted that he could do it on any laptop, they couldn’t risk leaving it there. One of the enemy robots might go through it find out how they managed to disable the trackers. If that happened then they would be fucked.

All six of them silently load the robots into the car. There’s three of them; two in the boot and one more in the car with them. It was a tight squeeze into the car; it wasn’t easy to fit six people plus a dead robot into a four-seater.

It was silent all the way back to base. Joven thought about starting a conversation with Sohinki but his withering glare told him not to say anything.

After they pulled into the garage at base, Joven said, “We really need to get a new car.”

Sohinki glared at him from Mari’s lap at the back, the dead robot draped across his own lap. “Obviously.”

Mari shoved at him. “Well, get off, then.”

“If I could lift this stupid robot I would.” Sohinki shoved the robot towards Wes, who sat in the middle.

Wes happily took it from him. He and Flitz helped carry it out of the car and finally Sohinki was free. He scrambled out of the car as fast as he could. Joven and Lasercorn had already opened the boot, taking one of the dead robots with them. That left Mari and Sohinki to carry the other one.

 “Thank God,” Mari said to Sohinki as they carried the robot back to base. “Your ass is heavy is hell.”

“Hey, I don’t weigh that much!” Sohinki complained.

“Sure, sure,” Mari replied. “Say that the next time some heavy-ass sits on your lap.”

“Who else’s lap was I going to sit on? Wes’s? Flitz’s? That’d just mean a boner would be shoved between my arse cheeks.”

“Joven’s the one with the hots for you.”

Just as Mari said that, the two of them arrived next to everyone else.

Joven cleared his throat loudly. Mari and Sohinki fell silent.

Joven moved the weight of the robot he was carrying to one knee, stumbling slightly. Sohinki realised that they were all in front of a heavy metal-like door. It looked like the surface of the moon; grey with craters and jagged edges. Joven punched the craters several times in an elaborate pattern that seemed to be a passcode.

Sure enough, the door swung open inwards. There was dark corridor in front of them. Joven lifted the weight of the robot back into his hands before gesturing for everyone to follow him and Lasercorn. With their robot cargo still with them, everyone followed in silence.

Even though everyone else walked through like the corridor was nothing, Sohinki was in silent awe. This was pretty cool. It reminded him of those horror games that he would force himself to play with his brother so that he didn’t seem like a wuss. This place was dark and made of brick but it was clean and had torches on the sides, which was always nice. He had to keep moving, though, because he still had heavy, dead robot in his hands and Mari wasn’t slowing down for anything.

There was more corridor, more corridor, more corridor and then some stairs that led down. After that, automatic doors slid open, revealing the base.

The main room was square; all dark, clean lines, glass panels, bright lights and linoleum. At the centre there was a metal bed, presumably for medical patients. Around the edges of the room there were a few desks, most of which were ridden with nerdy toys and figurines.  Each desk had a computer on it.

The smell of coffee lingered in the air, as did the smell of some weird but really strong fruity perfume. The computers and the lights hummed quietly as electricity coursed through them.

Joven and Lasercorn dumped the robot they held between them onto the metal bed. Then they ran to a nearby cupboard and got out a couple of stretchers, which they unceremoniously dumped onto the floor. Mari and Sohinki gratefully dropped their robot onto one, while Wes and Flitz set their one down more calmly.

“Do you know how to dissect this thing, Sohinki?” Joven asked.

“I’m not a doctor!”

“What about technology?” Wes asked.

“Well, yeah, I know about that.”

____________________________________________________________

Sohinki carefully finished off severing the robot’s head apart. He probed around in there for a moment before standing up again. “It’s just like I thought. There’s actually a tiny little yellow thing, the size of tiny button, which is powered by an external source.” Everyone stood around him as Sohinki pointed it out. “It’s directly in the middle of the head. They’ve been made so that the only way they stop working is if they’re temporarily de-activated. Even if they’ve been blown to pieces and the robot itself is dead, the tracker still works fine.

“They’ve also been made so that any little hit during an autopsy directly damages it so that it can’t be properly analysed. It looks like there’s an exception to this, though: if the right tool is used, hitting the yellow button doesn’t damage it at all. I’m guessing that it’s the tool that would have been used to put the button together in the first place, back when this robot was first created.”

There was a beep in the distance.

Joven ran over to it. “It says that the trackers will reactivate in five minutes.”

Wes swore under his breath. “We need to get these robots out of here.”

“Yeah,” Joven replied. “I would ask you to deactivate the trackers again but I’m going to assume that the enemy would pick up on a tracker blackout and trace it back to here, which will suck for us.”

Sohinki hesitated for a moment before nodding. “OK.”

Mari and Wes led the way, getting Flitz and Lasercorn to help them carry the other two robots out of the base. Meanwhile, Joven and Sohinki continued to work on the other robot; Sohinki trying to find out more and Joven trying to memorise the way in which Sohinki dissected it. Sohinki wanted to pull out some robot parts for further study, which Joven allowed. After all, the parts he was pulling out were small, inconspicuous and far away from the trackers in their heads. Joven knew that it wouldn’t look suspicious.

Once Sohinki had gotten them out, Joven looked over at Sohinki’s laptop. “Two minutes left until reactivation. Come on, we need to get this robot out of here.”

At that moment, Mari and Wes came back. After receiving instructions from Joven, they both nodded and heaved the last robot between them and exited the base.

Once they were gone, Joven turned to Sohinki.

“Thank you for your help,” Joven told him. “How did you know exactly how to deactivate them?”

Sohinki opened and closed his mouth like a fish. “I have experience as a hacker. But I didn’t know exactly how to deactivate these robots.”

Joven was left bewildered. He stood there, staring at Sohinki, like he was the answer to the whole universe.

And at this rate? He probably was.

____________________________________________________________

A few minutes later, everyone else came back in. Joven turned to them.

“They’re safely disposed of,” Flitz said. “The authorities picked up the cargo but they didn’t pick up any trace of interferers.”

Joven nodded. “Excellent. Good job everyone.”

With that, he turned back to Sohinki. “Tell us about yourself.”

“In front of everyone?” Sohinki demanded.

“Well, yeah. You’re in our base so you kind of have to.”

Sohinki gave a disbelieving look. He replied, “Why would I do that? Everyone’s standing around me in a circle like I’m a specimen. I’m a person, damnit.”

Joven looked around to see that, yep, as they’d been trained, everyone was in a circle around him and Sohinki. “Well, not everyone.”

“Well, you’re the questioner so that’s different. Why would I tell you guys about me?”

“Because maybe I want you on the team.”

Mari raised her eyebrows. Lasercorn blinked rapidly in surprise. Flitz’s eyes widened. Wes was shocked.

“That confirms the Joven’s-got-the-hots-for-Sohinki thing,” Mari said.

“Hey!” Joven protested. “He could totally be the hacker or something. And he seems to know his stuff. He deactivated those robots – well, the trackers in them - without any problem at all. We need that kind of stuff.”

Wes came over to Joven and whispered into his ear. “Yeah, that’s true, but what if he turns out to be a stooge? Or what if he doesn’t work mesh well with the team?”

Joven hadn’t really thought about that. Well, they would probably have to go to the typical memory-wiping drugs they used on civilians, but Joven really didn’t want to do that.

“It’ll work out,” Joven whispered confidently.

“If you’re sure,” Wes replied, backing away.

“You want me on your team?” Sohinki asked.

“Yeah,” Joven said easily. “Like I said, you could be the hacker/technician for us. But I need to tell you some stuff,” he continued, moving closer to Sohinki so that they were toe to toe. “Some stuff about what’s going on. The things that we’re fighting against. The things that, if you join, you’ll be fighting against too. You ready?”

Sohinki looked at him with unflinching, determined eyes. “Hit me.”

“Those robots popped up about one and a half years ago. We don’t know where exactly they came from. Some of us think outer space, others think from under the ocean, Pacific Rim style. All we know is that they are robot drones that are trying to take over the world. Ever since they’re arrived, we’ve been doing what we can to hold them back and protect the world from them.”

“And you want me to help?”

“Yeah. Because I think with you, we actually have a chance from stopping these robots once and for all.”

Joven looked around at everyone else. Mari shrugged, Lasercorn wasn’t protesting and both Wes and Flitz seemed fine. With that, Joven asked Sohinki, “So I’m asking you, Sohinki, do you want to join our crime fighting team?”

“More of a robot fighting team,” he said easily. “You’re not really fighting crime.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kind of agree with Joven. The robots are murdering scum, so in a way, we are fighting crime,” Lasercorn added. “It’s just that the crime we’re fighting are being committed by mindless robots.”

“So do you want to join?” Joven asked Sohinki again.

Sohinki thought about it for a moment. As much as he loved his normal computer technician job, he didn’t think he could go back to it after seeing the extraordinary things he had today. And some part of him wanted to be involved in something that would help save the world. Even if it was from killer robot clones.

“Alright.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! This was (loosely) inspired by the 2016 WizardWorld Portland Live Q&A session on twitch, where Joven said that he would have Sohinki on his team in a robot apocalypse because he could be the hacker. It happened between the Gengar shirt guy and the guy who challenged Flitz to a dance off (which you can see in WIZARD WORLD PORTLAND SHENANIGANS! (Bonus Vlogs)), but it basically means I can never prove that this actually happened =(.


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